“Tenth Circle Added to Rapidly Growing Hell,” The Onion (1998)

“CITY OF DIS, NETHER HELL–After nearly four years of construction at an estimated cost of 750 million souls, Corpadverticus, the new 10th circle of Hell, finally opened its doors Monday.

“The Blockbuster Video-sponsored circle, located in Nether Hell between the former eighth and ninth levels of Malebolge and Cocytus, is expected to greatly alleviate the overcrowding problems that have plagued the infernal underworld in recent years. The circle is the first added to Hell in its countless-millennia history.

‘A nightmarishly large glut of condemned spirits in recent years necessitated the expansion of Hell,’ inferno spokesperson Antedeus said. ‘The traditional nine-tiered system had grown insufficient to accommodate the exponentially rising numbers of Hellbound’ […].”    —”Tenth Circle Added to Rapidly Growing Hell,” The Onion, September 23, 1998

The Onion‘s Instagram account reposted the 1998 article on February 26, 2025. The post racked up 20,000 likes in the first three hours of its publication. (Thanks to Angel Lodwick, Florida State University ’28, for the heads up!)